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[29 Oct 2007|01:17am] |
New journal, guys; roadkillme_x
This one's getting deleted, methinks.
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[19 Oct 2007|01:22am] |
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mood |
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Silly. |
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music |
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Pendulum -- Blood Sugar |
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I'm a total spazzoid...
Cutting my lip off with crisps now, guyz.
I'm not sure what's caused it cause there's plenty for me to be annoyed with but nope... I'm in a better mood today. I like it.
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| Is it time I disappear. |
[17 Oct 2007|02:28am] |
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mood |
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Lonely & a little sad. |
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music |
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Laura Viers. |
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I'm feeling so damn lonely tonight.
I seem to be everyone's second choice for company. I'm only ever good enough when there's nobody left.
Am I just being paranoid? I thought so. Lately it seems more than true.
This song is making me sad, even more so. I don't know why but it's making me think about you. I miss you more than a little. You've been gone almost two years. It's horrible.
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| If you be my star I'll be your sky. |
[13 Oct 2007|11:18pm] |
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mood |
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Hopeful. |
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music |
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Miles Davis. |
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I hope you decide to come home tonight...
I like waking up to you next to me.
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| Tighten your tie, boy. You're something to die for. |
[09 Oct 2007|01:01am] |
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mood |
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Irritated. |
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music |
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Laura Viers |
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Stop trying to ruin my life because you can't get on with your own you pathetic little prick!
Seriously, I don't know how I ever loved you.
I feel nothing but rage towards you.
________________________________________
I'm not feeling too great again these past few weeks.
I'm not healthy anymore, I know it.
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| Think I was blind before I met you. |
[24 Sep 2007|11:43pm] |
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music |
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Bright Eyes ♥ |
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I don't like how this has just suddenly hit today.
I could barely stay awake up until about 6pm, now... I can't seem to switch myself off at all =/ and the glands in my throat are so swollen people have actually gone "WTF?!" out loud. My voice has totally gone too. FFS, Cermit the frog sounds healthier!
Kev spent his birthday alone because I felt too crappy to move. I'm a bad person.
Since I can't sleep, hopefully, large amounts of chocolate and watching The Land Before Time will cheer me up.
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| Yeah, you know that I'm no good. |
[06 Sep 2007|12:04am] |
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music |
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Amy Winehouse♥ |
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I'm happy in some ways and not so happy in others and something that's seriosuly making me unhappy is the way I look.
To look in a mirror makes me feel sick. I always look so plain 'n boring 'n I've put on a lot of weight. So plan A is to try to lose some weight again. Plan B is just to try to change completely... from the way I look to the way I've been acting.
Think I'd suit any of these? Opinions would be nice.
I've total shit to some people, taking my temper out when I shouldn't be because of someone and I'm sorry for that, really...
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[15 Aug 2007|01:58pm] |
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music |
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Newton Faulkner♥ |
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I haven't been this happy in a long time. I like it.
I miss muh Carriebean though♥. I haven't seen her in a while. I miss her loads.
The perfect words never crossed my mind,
'cause there was nothing in there but you,
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
But the sound was trapped deep in me,
All I wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth,
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
Without your arms to drag me out,
There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety
No I won't wait forever
In the confusion and the aftermath,
You are my signal fire,
The only resolution and the only joy,
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes,
There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,
There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,
No I won't wait forever
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[05 Aug 2007|11:56pm] |
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music |
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Joy Division♥ |
] |
Please forgive me
If I act alittle strange
For I know not what I do.
Feels like lightning running through my veins
Everytime I look at you
Everytime I look at you
Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say
Want to tell you just how good it feels
When you look at me that way
When you look at me that way
Throw a stone and watch the ripples flow
Moving out across the bay
Like a stone I fall into your eyes
Deep into some mystery
Deep into that mystery
I got half a mind to scream out loud
I got half a mind to die
So I won't ever have to lose you girl
Won't ever have to say goodbye
I won't ever have to lie
Won't ever have to say goodbye
Yeah na na na na
Yeah na na na na
Please forgive me
If I act alittle strange
For I know not what I do
It's like my head is filled with lightning girl
Everytime I look at you
Everytime I look at you
Everytime I look at you
Everytime I look at you
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| Heavy make-up don't cover these worn eyes. |
[04 Aug 2007|11:43pm] |
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I got from Cornwall about 3 or 4 hours ago. I enjoyed being away, had a nice time and it gave me some time to clear my head and really think about things. I'm glad to be home though, tbh =] Even though I was only gone for a week, I still missed certain people. Carrie & Kev mainly.
In some ways I've got my life on track again, in other parts... not so much. Either way, this makes me a little happier than I have been.
Bricking these exam results... 3 days left.
And I've already told you that I'm willing to give us another shot but do us both a favour... Stop playing with my fucking head and leave out the emotional blackmail this time!
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[19 Jul 2007|02:12am] |
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We did the right thing, didn't we?
Tbh, it does seem like it's for the best of us both. Even if it does sting a little.
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| If I could, then I would. |
[08 Jul 2007|10:12pm] |
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music |
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CSS♥Let's Make Love |
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Im in a bizarr mood today.
Couldn't go to work because I've been throwing up all day. Just generally feeling like crap. My health is going down the tubes again, I think. I've felt like this for a few days, it's just never came to anything til all the being sick action I've gotten today : [ Been a bit crap.
If I feel better tomorrow I'm going up to visit Kev which will be pretty braw, haven't seen him in a couple of weeks.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I feel the need to change again. Not who I am, obv. Cause that just doesn't work or last =[ but the way I look. I always look the same, no matter what I do.
Seriously considering dark hair again. Aye or naw? Maybe a fringe? Oh WTF, seriously. Why can't I make up my mind?
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[05 Jul 2007|02:30pm] |
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Now then Mardy Bum
I've seen your frown and it's like looking down the barrel of a gun
And it goes off
And out come all these words
Oh there's a very pleasant side to you
A side I much prefer
It's one that laughs and jokes around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on
Well now then Mardy Bum
Oh I'm in trouble again, aren't I?
I thought as much
Cause you turned over there
Pulling that silent disappointment face
The one that I can't bear
Can't we laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on
Yeah I'm sorry I was late
But I missed the train
And then the traffic was a state
And I can't be arsed to carry on in this debate
That reoccurs ,oh when you say I don't care
But of course I do, yeah I clearly do!
So laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Still it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on
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| I know that I should let go but I can't. |
[05 Jul 2007|01:37am] |
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music |
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Guillemots♥Made - Up Love Song #43 |
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I didn't think even you could be that cruel. We fight so fucking much, it's becoming a joke. I came so close to hating you earlier and it scared me, now that I've had time to think about it, I'm past caring what happens to us, tbh! You treat me/talk to me like I'm worth nothing but shit and I hate it I just wish I actually had the stones to tell you.
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| Keep the world outside. |
[26 Jun 2007|11:55pm] |
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mood |
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Blah |
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music |
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Robots In Diguise♥ |
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Tbh, I'm a bit bored with life just now.
Although, I had a rather nice day on Monday :]
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[22 Jun 2007|11:10pm] |
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mood |
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 Meh |
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music |
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The Damned ; Neat Neat Neat |
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God, I'm fed up. A bit lonely too.
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[16 Jun 2007|03:15pm] |
The perfect words never crossed my mind,
'cause there was nothing in there but you,
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
But the sound was trapped deep in me,
All I wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth,
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
Without your arms to drag me out
There you are standing right in front of me
There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety
No I won't wait forever
No I won't wait forever
In the confusion and the aftermath,
You are my signal fire,
The only resolution and the only joy,
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes
There you are standing right in front of me
There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety
There you are standing right in front of me
There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety
No I won't wait forever
No I won't wait forever
No I won't wait forever
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| A cog in the murder machine. |
[13 Jun 2007|01:55am] |
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I can't believe how scared I was tonight. You almost found us out. My stomache wretched and I felt sick when I thought that I might loose you. You made that silly joke and for a second I could've swore blind that you knew but now, obviously not. It's made me realise just how much I love you and also how I don't really deserve to have you in my life. "My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation, and I know that I should let go, but I can't."
I can't believe you kissed me. I don't believe that I let you, again. What the fuck is my problem?
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